20030524
18:01
|| hopes dashed + dreams shattered ||
have been posting songs lately. yepps. now i think that sometimes songs tells what i am feeling. haha but these songs are really nice. yepps. the lyrics are really meaningful too. yeah. esp the erm "forever". heard that song before? its a really nice song. was listening to it yesterday. haii. now looking back feel like crying but i guess i have to be strong and carry on, which i doubt i can but i know that i got all my wonderful friends here for me so i have to. yepps. anw, erm to all my freinds esp those good ones thanks for being there whenever i need you esp
pauline jenn jingyu. thanks. i mean alot of things have been happening and yah i wld turn to your whenever i have any problems. yepps. i wld even now okay? hope you wont find me irritating. haii. and i mean what i said kaes?
erm i am feeling so sad loh i mean i studied like siao for dnt then in the end? i still failed!!! walao eh i mean why can mr tay like give me 1/2 more marks? i mean i got 12 loh which is like what most of us got. haii pulling down all my marks for dnt loh. haii looks like i cant get my colour phone liao. haii. nvm anw, tk care and iloveyou (:
id do anything
Another day is going by
I'm thinking about you all the time
But you're out there
And I'm here waiting
And I wrote this letter in my head
'Cuz so many things were left unsaid
But now you're gone
And I can't think straight
This could be the one last chance
To make you understand
I'd do anything
Just to hold you in my arms
To try to make you laugh
Some how I can't put you in the past
I'd do anything
Just to fall asleep with you
Will you remember me?
'Cuz I know
I won't forget you
Together we broke all the rules
Dreaming of dropping out of school
And leave this place
To never come back
So now maybe after all these years
If you miss me have no fear
I'll be here
I'll be waiting
This could be the one last
chance to make you
understand
And I just can't let you leave
me once again
I'd do anything
Just to hold you in my arms
Try to make you laugh
Some how I can't put you in the past
I'd do anything
Just to fall asleep with you
Will you remember me?
Cuz i know I won't forget you
I close my eyes
And all I see is you
I close my eyes
I try to sleep
I can't forget you
Nanana (2 x)
And I'd do anything for you
Nanana (2 x)
I'd do anything
Just to hold you in my arms
To try to make you laugh
Some how I can't put you in the past
I'd do anything
Just to fall asleep with you
To fall alseep with you, you ya
Cuz I know I won't forget you
bring me to life
How can you see into my eyes
like open doors.
Leading you down into my core
where I've become so numb.
Without a soul
my spirit's sleeping somewhere cold
until you find it there and lead it back home.
(Wake me up.
Wake me up inside.
I can't wake up.
Wake me up inside.
Save me.
Call my name and save me from the dark.
Wake me up.
Bid my blood to run.
I can't wake up.
Before I come undone.
Save me.
Save me from the nothing I've become.)
Now that I know what I'm without
you can't just leave me.
Breathe into me and make me real
Bring me to life.
[Chorus]
Bring me to life.
I've been living a lie
There's nothing inside.
Bring me to life.
Frozen inside without your touch,
without your love, darling.
Only you are the life among the dead.
All of this sight
I can't believe I couldn't see
Kept in the dark
but you were there in front of me
I've been sleeping a 1000 years it seems.
I've got to open my eyes to everything.
Without a thought
Without a voice
Without a soul
Don't let me die here
There must be something wrong.
Bring me to life.
[Chorus]
Bring me to life.
I've been living a lie
There's nothing inside.
Bring me to life
somewhere i belong
(When this began)
I had nothing to say
And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me
(I was confused)
And I live it all out to find
That I’m not the only person with these things in mind
(Inside of me)
But all that they can see the words revealed
Is the only real thing that I’ve got left to feel
(Nothing to lose)
Just stuck, hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own
[Chorus]
I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I’ve felt so long
(Erase all the pain till it’s gone)
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m close to something real
I wanna find something I’ve wanted all along
Somewhere I belong
And I’ve got nothing to say
I can’t believe I didn’t fall right down on my face
(I was confused)
Looking everywhere only to find
That it’s not the way I had imagined it all in my mind
(So what am I)
What do I have but negativity
’Cause I can’t trust to find the way, everyone is looking at me
(Nothing to lose)
Nothing to gain, hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own
[Repeat Chorus]
I will never know myself until I do this on my own
And I will never feel anything else until my wounds are healed
I will never be anything till I break away from me
I will break away and find myself today
[Repeat Chorus]
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m somewhere I belong
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m somewhere I belong
Somewhere I belong
rumours
I heard a rumour, nows the start
Somethings changing in your heart
And you been watching me the way that you did
So i flipped, you should of told me
I heard you speaking to a friend
How that feelings back again
How you got my number undercover
So much more than friends
But i always thought someone else you were missing
Girl, hes your man,
Now its me that your wishing
I look in your eyes,
Tell me now what are you gonna do?
I need to know its really true
(chorus)
My, my, my, saw the signs, couldnt pick a better time
I heard a rumour that your feeling me
Let us just rewind, one more time
You said that you wanna be mine
I heard a rumour that you're feeling me
Midnight calling to my phone
I hear you breathe and then the tone
So every night you're creepin' while hes slippin'
Come lets get it on
But i always thought someone else you were missing
But you had this plan now you man your deceiving
I look in your eyes,
Tell me now what are you gonna do?
I need to know its really true
forever
I'll be loving you forever
Deep inside my heart you'll leave me never
Even if you took my heart and tore it apart
I would love you still forever
You are the sun, you are my light
And you're the last thing on my mind
Before I go to sleep at night
You're always 'round when I'm in need
When trouble's on my mind
You put my soul at ease
There is no one in this world
Who can love me like you do
So many reasons that I
Want to spend forever with you
We've had our fun, and we've made mistakes
But who'd have guessed along that road
We'd learn to give and take
It's so much more than I could have dreamed
You make loving you
So easy for me
There is no one in this world
Who can love me like you do
That is the reason that I
Want to share forever with you
CHORUS
(And girl I pray you leave me never)
BRIDGE:
Coz this is a world
Where lovers often go astray
But if we love each other
We won't go, won't go that way
So put your doubts aside
Do what it takes to make it right
Coz I'll love you forever
No one can tear us apart
CHORUS (TILL FADE)
damage
I found the way
By the sound of your voice
So many things to say
But these are only words
Now I've only words
Once there was a choice
And I want to love
Did I give you much?
Well you gave me things
You gave me stars to hold
Songs to sing
I only want to be loved
And I hurt and I hurt
And the damage is done
You gave me songs to sing
Shadow and sun
Why didn't I stay?
Why couldn't I?
So many lives to cross
Well I just had to leave
There goes everything
Everything
Can I meet you there?
God knows the place
And I'll touch your hand
Kiss your face
We only want to be loved
We only want to be loved
And I want to be love
And I hurt and I hurt
And the damage is done
You gave me songs to sing
Shadow and sun
Earthbound, starblind
Tied to someone
20030523
no ordinary love
This could have been just another day
But instead we're standing here
No need for words, it's all been said
in the way you hold me near
I was alone on this journey
You came along to comfort me
Everything I want in life is right here
Chorus:
cause
This is not your ordinary
no ordinary love
I was not prepared enough
to fall so deep in love
This is not your ordinary
no ordinary love
You were the first to touch my heart
Made everything right again
with your extraordinary love
Chorus
I get so weak
when you look at me
I get lost inside your eyes
sometimes the magic is hard to believe
but you're here before my weary eyes
you brought joy to my world
set me so free
I want you to understand
you are every breath that I breathe
Chorus:
From the very first time that we kissed
I knew that I just couldn't let you go at all
From this day on, remember this:
That you're the only one that I adore
Can't we make this last forever
This can't be a dream
cause it feels so good to me
Chorus x2
19:26
now i am in school. finished the erm this cd rom thing for math then now on the internet loh. was supposed to be waiting for jingyu then she now then come and tell me that her parents coming to pick her. waste my time. haii. nvm. tmr got no cca!!! yay!!! haha but not exactly happy abt it lah cos erm nvm dun wna say it here. yepps. hmm nothing much happened in school today lah but then pauline's class got their erm class tshirt liao loh. so lucky leh!!! so nice sommore. haii good for them loh not like our class dont even have an idea i think i am not too sure but yeah dont think we have one yet. dont feel like going home now cos my parents sure nag at me one loh. so irritating i really hope that my mother dont ban me frm using the
fucking phone loh. argh fuck her! hurr. pissed now that i am thinking of it. haha. oh well just so........erm dunno lah. nvm abt me lah. haha. yepps. anw now dont feel like typing le maybe ltr when i go home then i blog again loh if not then erm tmr then blog lah. haii. bye (:
-
|| whenever your in my arms again this time i'd hold youu forever ||
haii just got a lecture from my mother. damn it loh. wth?! i mean because of yesterday does not mean anything right?! argh! damn it loh. haii well now feeling so useless. haii.
guess no one cares now haii even my erm...nvm haii feeling so sad now. feel like killing myself and hopefully my sorrows wld end here. guess theres no hope anymore. haii. \\heartbroken
20030522
today is such a perfect day. wish everyday could be like today.
okay. today i was late for footdrills so did not turn uo for it. glad to hear that they did not take attendance. haha. and shuyu said that there will be no cca again on saturday!!! haha. yepps. happy. in the morning went to school. took our temperatures like usual and then it was history. first lesson of the day. boring!!! okay then at like 8.15am liddat i was like so nervous for my 2.4km run later then i said to amanda "ahhhh i feel like strangling a chicken now!!" cos i was like really really nervous. then time passed so fast and before i knew it i was stretching on the track!? okay then i had my run. wanted to stop half way but then my sister told me not to so i did not stop. but my timing still so lousy. haii manybe i am made not to run long distances. yah. but i am so happy cos i improved like erm 2 minutes?! yepps. so...erm happy. so now for napfa if i am not wrong i have 29/30 loh. happy with myself. haha (:
then after that i took our weight and then i realised that i lost weight and i was much lighter than the rest of my freinds. haha so happy. think i shall continue to lose weight!!! haha. yepps. erm but i still think that i am too heavy. yepps. and deb tan told me that mrs tan said that i lose a lot of weight and i did not hear that?! i dont think i lost ALOT what. i mean 3kg only. yepps.
then i took the long route back to class cos it was like still early for the next lesson then chloe and jenn and tab took out their shoes except me then i was like "can take out meh?!" then in the end i still took it off loh. haha. yepps. the feeling so shuang!! haha. okay then went back to class then on our way passed charity and then mrs chan was in there. i was a little crazy then so i said "hi mrs chan!!!" haha i mean she was having a test?! haha. then i saw that stupid zhong but i was so cheerful and i said hi to her too. haha dunno why also guess today i am a litttle crazy loh. haha. then had english compre test too. hope i dont fail loh. haii. yah.
then during ipw that time cos i was eating in class then when miss quek came in the class she walked into the centre of the class while i was packing my sweet then she raised her arm and i was like "???!!!!!" walao eh!!!! food loh!!! hello?! i was so disgusted?! haii okay then luckily today did not have to present our project cos did not have enought time so yah so we can add things in the pp presentation. haha. okay then lesson ended at 1.30pm today then i waited for jingyu.
waited and waited for such a long time then her class finally came back loh. was waiting for them cos i going out with jingyu mah. yepps. then she was taking her own sweet time?! haha maybe she was not but aiyah nvm. haha. then pauline hadblister on her foot. poor girl hope you are okay now. (: then went orchard to watch movie. went cineplex. yepps. haha then i read the time wrongly loh!!! walao. then that jinyu kept on pushing me to step on iceman's face. but too bad she failed!!! haha. yepps. watched
darkness falls. yepps. nice show. i was screaming with the other ij girls there and then i was joking throughout the show. haha. with jingyu lah. but i think this is the second nicest show that i have watched this month cos the other shows that i watched SUX. yepps. haha still cant believe that jingyu did not even scream?! i mean the show was really like "sudden"? things pop out like suddenly? i mean it is expected but...aiyah dunno how to say lah. haha. anw, now hafta go and study for my tuition liao stupid teacher coming early today. shit her loh. argh. so gtg now. bye (:
and oh yah!!! ruben won for american idol loh!!!! wtf?! clay shld win loh!!!!!!!!! ahhhhhhhhh. and the album they sang is finally out!!!!!! ahhh cant wait to get my vouchers then i can go get it!!!! haha. okay i am going nuts again. haha. alrites. bye hehs. once again x)
-
argh just now was having conference with pauline and jeff then my mother had to go and dail a number and then she heard that i was talking to a guy and she scolded me loh. wtf?! i mean whats wrong in talking to a guy arh? "you're too young!!" not as if there is something going on or something right?! walao eh so irritating hope i can still get to use the damn it phone mans. and she wld not try to hear who i am talking to. fuck!
18:36
20030521
|| is the world changing or am i changing ||
okay been feeling fucked up lately. haii many things have been happening loh. haii. today had chinese lit test which i think i am most likely going to fail terribly. haii and got back bio test paper today. haii did so badly loh!!! haii dunno why am i in this class of smart pple when i am so fucking stupid?! i mean it is like....dunno loh everyone did so well and me so lousy i think i probably did the worse in class loh. haii. have been feeling so down now a days. haii. dunno whats gotten into me loh.
went out with my sister to watch anger management. such a stupid show this month i have been watching shows which are like totally dumb except
xmen2 lah. it is such a niceeee show loh. pple who havent watched it yet HAVE to watch it okay?! yepps. it is a very niceeee show!!!!! ahhhhhhh. okay i am going siao liaos.
okay nothing really to say liaos except that if i have offended anyone in one way or another i'm sorry kaes? haii. feeling so damn it hot now a days. and the person said that this kind of weather is going to last till june?! just going to die loh. and my math tcher is like going so damn fast in our work? ans she keeps on saying that we talk too much. wth? i mean it is like cant we even enjoy and we have already completed the chapter what. she keeps on complaining loh. i mean haii dunno lah. havent even done a single of my chapter 8 work yet!!! and now she has taught finish and is going on to chapetr 9 tmr?! i will not be able to catch up loh. haii guess i am just too stupid. haii. okay i gtg now. anw, tk care and iloveyouu.
20:40
20030520
|| troubled by certain things that cannot be explained ||
20:54
Round Round
Round, round baby
Round, round
Spinning out on me
I don't need no man
Got my kicks for free
We'll ride
Stir fried (Still fired)
On the beat down low
I don't need nobody
Got my honeys
When I go
Round, baby
Round round
Spinning out on me
I don't need no man
Got my kicks for free
(Free free free free)
When your still in my face
You're messing with my brain
If you're trying to resist me
Then you better think again
If you move to the music
The music's got to give
If it's too complicated
That's the way I want to live
If you hate me
I will show you
How to brain me
Into something new
If you want me
Run away now
If you stop me
Then I'll hit the ground
(Can we go, here we go)
Round, round baby
Round, round
Spinning out on me
I don't need no man
Got my kicks for free
We'll ride
Stir fried (Still fired)
On the beat down low
I don't need nobody
Got my honeys
When I go
Explanations - no you don't need one
Having a good time
Getting down to the fun
And it's your time
'Cos tonight he'll be mine
And he's gone
Yeah
People moving, bodies grooving
Never ending
Players are choosing
(Don't you worry 'bout a thing all you need is a fierce sting)
All my girls are here with me
Worry that they've got their need
(Do you feel me, do you feel me, do you feel me, do you feel me)
Woo
Round, round baby
Round, round
Spinning out on me
I don't need no man
Got my kicks for free
We'll ride
Stir fried (Still fired)
On the beat down low
I don't need nobody
Got my honeys
When I go
Round baby
Round, round
Spinning out on me
I don't need no man
Got my kicks for free
We'll ride
Stir fried (Still fired)
On the beat down low
I don't need nobody
Got my honeys
When I go
Ooh
Does it hurt, when you see
How I've done
Without you
Thought that I could belong
Never thought that you could be so cruel
All you need is some friends
Won't be by yourself
Let's go round and round and round and round and r-o-u-nd
Round, round baby
Round, round
Spinning out on me
I don't need no man
Got my kicks for free
We'll ride
Stir fried (Still fired)
On the beat down low
I don't need nobody
Got my honeys
When I go
Round baby
Round, round
Spinning out on me
I don't need no man
Got my kicks for free
We'll ride
Stir fried (Still fired)
On the beat down low
I don't need nobody
Got my honeys
When I go
Round, baby when I go
When I go
(When I go)
When I go
(When I go)
When I go
When I go round baby
(When I go)
When I go
(When I go)
When I go
(When I go)
When I go
When I go
20030519
okay today had quite a good day in school. haha. went to school with a stomachache. then now having headache. haii. very pain sia? haii. this is so scary. on thursday going to have our erm 2.4km run? haii. hope i can get at least B mans. haii. okay i am feeling so bad today. haii made so many pple sad. haii. im so useless!!! haii. sorry kkaes if i have made youu angry or sad i am just useless lah. kkaes? sossy okay. yepps. and erm jingyu gave me this erm dunnoe what thing lah. it is so cute loh. haha (: love it. thanks. anw, now my sister about to use the computer liaos. so gtg now. bye.
19:48
20030518
okay i am finally blogging.
haha been too lazy to blog lately but what to do? i
am lazy. ahhas. okay on erm thrusday supposed to be vesak day but it was my grandmother's birthday so we went out to celebrate. yepps. went to eat at this restaurant. yepps my grandfather was supposingly
not in a good mood so did not really talk to him yepps. but enjoyed the food there lah. supposed to be losing weight but who cares lah. haha then found out that it was also
john mark's bdae. haha. remembered the night before pauline was like so excited while having conference?! haha dunno why also lah but heck lah. haha. yepps
okay then on the next day it was my brother's bdae. haha so cool right? i mean my grandmother was born one day before my brother?! but of course a few years eariler lah. yepp. then did not really celebrate lah. was
not in a good mood that day i can remember. haha. forgot why but yah lah. anw, then just spent the whole day online. yepps. haha. okay. it was also christian's birthday. in case youu dont know who he is, he is stefan's brother lah. yah lah.
then the next day which is on the 17th erm i did my h/w which i owed lah mostly is math yepp. so good right? haha. kidding lah then messaged alot on that day lah. then today went to watch matrix reloaded. so chim loh did not understand the whole damn show?! only the fighting part was good and i mean really good. yepp. haha okay but was not worth it loh. haha during the show half way i messaged chloe to tell her how boring the show was then she was like so jealous?! but i think it is not worth it loh. i mean it is such a boring show. yepp like what i said only the fighting part was good?! haha then went to eat at erm amk? so far right? and the thing is that i watched my show at tampanis?! haha. my parents sometimes so weird right? yepps. and erm dont think i can sign youu guys guestbook cos after this have to help my
dear old sister sew her belt. yepp. haha. so if i dont sign your gb then sorry kaes? will try my very best lah. yepps.
oh yah finally did finsh so many pple's blog?! a load off my back mans!!! been dragging it for so long sorry yeahs? yepps. anw, completed shar's blog liao just waiting for her to come online to show her if she likes it or not lah yepps. haha. oh wells did not know she having competition. good luck ((: love youu girl. all the best
chloe: walao eh?! iceman does
not look like a
druggie okay?! your taste is really bad?! no lah kidding lah but he really does not loh i mean aiyah nvm he's sooooooo cute okay?! so many pple like him. oh well we have different taste loh. haha nvm lah. hehs. anw, tk care iloveyouu (:
jingyu: haha alrites. see you tmr in school alrites? haha. muackkkk. iloveyouu.
21:14