20030606
i'd be there for you anytime you need me
thought i would feel better after the mid years but instead i feel worse. haii now like so worried for my results. got back math today got so damn low loh! haii. i am so super sad loh. thought i would do better haii. guess i am not that good after all thought i would improve haii. this morning was feeling so shitified loh. was like sulking the whole morning in the hall. haii then in the morning when i went to put back attendance then had this thing for the nominees for the junior prefect thing then came back to ask tcher if we got any then she was like dont have. then she asked us to choose for her then in the end these are the pple who got choosen...chloe, rui, nat yeo, shan, me, deb tan and merisa. haha. yepps.
sian loh. chloe is nominated too haha. that means maybe we can be erm prefect together. haha. ((: at least i can be with my good friend (: yepps. then had this assembly thing. wenxun was acting haha. damn funny. then she was saying the words for "god" haha damn funny. so obvious it was her. yepps. but then i heard alot of pple laughing but i had no reaction was not in the mood i suppose?! yeah so...yah lah.
had this meeting for sj pple today haha they not going to have camp! yeah ((: or not going to be so damn tiring can?! yepps. glad they made up their mind not to have. okay then we had recess lah then after that went back to the hall. haha was admiring the neoprints that we took yesterday. esp one of them. damn funny! we were not ready at all can?! haha then it just took us. haha. so funny. oh yah did i mention that i saw david's mother on the mrt yesterday? damn sway loh. was thinking who was that familar person then i remembered. haha. no one asked abt my hair today it looks the same loh haii but then i think i wna cut it again when my mother goes and cut her hair. haha yepps.
anw today is the last day of school. haii will miss all my friends!
all. haii really
love going to school. haii oh wells. sad mans. cant wait for the holidays to be over mans then i can finally go to school again! hope i can still go out with my friends during the june holidays or not i am just going to rot at home! really wna go out! so sad i cant make it on sunday with pauline cos i have tuition. sorry gal. my sister having her o's on monday so my tution tcher coming lah. sorry kaes? will try to ask my parents to let me go lah. sorry.
feeling so down now. haii dunno why somethings just keep bothering me! feeling so
shitified! anw think i have to take things one at a time. haiis. ): want to have p6 class gathering again! so damn fun loh. at leats can get to see all my friends. ((: yepps hope yiwei will plan one!
forgot to say mrs hwang came back today! haha long time never see her liaos. yepps still the old same her. haha. she damn cute lehs i mean at least better than miss choo! hahas ks gtg now. bye ((:
jingyu: heyys sorry could not give you a proper hugg today was carrying so many things! my sister lah. yepps. sorry kkaes? tk care during the june holidays alrites? miss you loads. watch movie during the holidays yah?
jenn: heyys erm cheer up okay gal dont be too sad abt your math results okay. cheer up. think i can go out with you tmr not sure what time anw? if not then we meet up and watch movie together during the holidays okay? yepps.
18:33
20030605
i thought i was stressed no more but i was wrong
mid years are finally over!
anw today was quite a bad days haii. had chinese and dnt which totally sux! for dnt i confirm fail one loh. i mean it is like haii. dunno lah then for chinese haii i got no hope lah. i mean confidence. haii wrote 2 words wrongly liao loh. haii! so sad can. anw got back my result slip haii it sux too. was feeling so depressed just now in the hall wanted to cry but so many pple were there so held back my tears, then before dnt i was so scared i started crying in class cos i did not study for it. haii! i cant seem to control my emotions anymore. haii. okay nvm but cos i have got
great friends that i can talk to so yeah.
anw i am so irritated loh. just now in class after dnt i was so happy cos it was the last paper mah then that
stupid suiying had to come and throw the damn it
fuking water bottle at my hips! walao eh damn pain can! now got bruise already loh! pain okay! i am
not mah yingfen so dont aim at me!!!! kaos.
went out with jenn to j8 and shaw towers, yepps. at first we went to j8 had a hard time thinking of going where then finally decided to go j8 loh. yepps then met hannah, celestia, beatrice and this other person. yepps said hi to celestia and hannah. yepps. then on the mrt saw hannah again. haha yepps said hi to her again. haha oh wells. then me and jenn went to eat yepps. ate this new thing from kfc. it sucked except for the chicken inside. haha the other things sux! haha. okay. then wile eating chloe and samantha came and left soon after like erm 5 minutes?! haha then they went to purchase tickets for their movie. so lucky loh they went to watch
what a girl wants lucky mans i want to watch too. haha. okay then me and jenn went to take neoprint. haha yepps then while choosing halfway chloe just opened the curtains and then saw us lah so i asked them to join us. yepps. haha the first shots were awful! haha then we took another one then it was quite nice lah hehs. but the words we wrote were like so erm ... ?! haha. yepps.
anw
finally went to cut my hair! but then my hair the length like no difference liddat lehs. kaos. sian mans. anw it is much cooler with this hair lenght. yepps. dont think anyone wld notice that i cut my hair anw. haha. okay then emr after me and my sister cut it was like 5 something liao then i watched
finding nemo with jenn loh. yepps some parts were boring but then overall its okay lah yepps. esp the turtle damn cuteee! reminds me of
someone haha yepps. ((:
anw when i came home got a scolding from my parents. sian mans cos i came home like 8 something and then they stared to like say me. so naggy! haha but what to do? hais me wanna watch ju-on but no one can watch with me. sighs. well. nvm. and jingyu dont think about anything lah okay yepps. smile dear ((: well hope you got a good laught while watching bruce almighty. yepps. -huggstightly- cheer up kaes? iloveyou.
anw thanks for the pple who tried to cheer me up in the hall. thanks really beeeeg thank you. yepps. now my mood better liao. was in a bad mood cos of my results and everything that happened in the morning lah yepps got hit also yepps. and thanks yarh. and thanks to those pple who are always giving me confidence and asking me to continue. (: thanks hehs
22:40
20030604
smile ((:
today was a nicee day ((: haha. yepps. okay but there was one part not nice. haii had elit and math today think i am going to fail both loh. did not know how to do erm the last question of math and i left it blank?! then for elit think i wrote out of point?! hais. why lehs. dunno lah but then foe elit i wrote
alot of crap loh. hais and then 4 pages some more leh! hand so damn tired loh. haii. okay anw stayed back to study again. haha this time round i really did study but i have no confidence in myself lehs. haii. dunno why chinese was supposed to be my best subject and now it is like ... ?! dunno lah just hope i get a1 for chinese or not i am seriously going to get a damn scolding from my tcher loh. haii.
anw today stayed back with jingyu, qin. kelly, siying and erm jiaying i think?! hehs. damn fun. at first was with jenn and jingyu then jingyu wanted this table but it was dirty then we sat on another table loh. then reen and vic came along and sat with us. then the stall holders came and clear the stuff then clear finish liao the table was still dirty so jenn asked this cleaner to help us clean loh. then walked jenn off. haha yepps. then me and jingyu came back then the table was still dirty so went to the library. yepps. then heard this gal from sec 3 i think playing th piano. damn nice can! haii wish i could play liddat but haii i wish i did not stop learning piano mans the last time. haii.
anw then we walked back and i found out then we only spent 5 minutes there?! haha damn funny loh. anw we started studying cos the table was cleared. yepps. then qin and kelly came loh then we studied together. damn fun with them loh. must study together more often kkaes? and it was like we were really
studying. yeah. we really studied loh. haha dunno lah but anw i knew i had a great time.
then jingyu said that she was hungry but did not want to eat school food so i walked with her out and got macs. yepps and then my sister asked me to go home with her but then i was like "i am still studying" then i saw her while walking out. haha then she was like "liddat called studying?" haha. jingyu was laughing like siao dunno why also haha she damn cute can haha. funnie ((:
okay then came back loh haii. was feeling so happy ltr then. yepps dunno why also. haha. then studied again. haha. so good huh? then kelly started testing us on the erm cheng yu? haha think i am fine with it lah but then not sure with the words in chapters 10-15 loh. haii. nvm. dont think i am going to study for dnt loh i mean it is like haii not in the mood to study or anything. yepps
today hurt myself so many times! fist when i said hi to miss quek then i hit myself on the table. great! damn pain can. then ltr on the bus was sandwitched between 2 fat pple. walao eh. then when the damn bus jam break i tried to balance then i scratched myself! haii. anyway tmr is the last paper! haha cools mans but i think i wld do badly though. haii. okay anw think i better go and erm study liaos cos i really dont wna fail any of my subjects loh. haii doubt that can be achived of me. ):
wna thank the pple here who were trying to cheer me up esp jingyu. haha yepps. thanks. ((: to everyone else too (:
21:17
20030603
|| the past hurts but the present hurts more ||
today had history damn it loh think i'll most likely fail it cos did not know how to do so many?! haii me going to fail practically all my subjects! haii now feeling so dwon. haii. well what to do if i am just born stupid?!
studied with jingyu, jenn, meixian, qin, kelly...many more lah sort of "studied" haha. yepps. but in the end not in the mood to study so went to erm macs with jingyu jenn and jana. i tell you arh that jana is so ... lehs! dont anyhow interpret things okay! walao eh. oh wells but she damn funny and cute lehs! haha. she bought happy meal just to get the erm toy? haha puffer fish ones. look like jingyu haha really so cute ((: went to cheers after that me bought ruffles.yepps nice and treated jana to this jelly bean thing? really nice to eat. hehs.
then went back to school lah and then jingyu talked to me yepps. cheer up okay gal ((: its not the ned of the world. then we somehow tried to cry? my eyes watered but then the stupid tears dont wna come out like stuck inside liddat. haii why didnt it just come out then all my sufferings will be like at least some wld be let out? i wld feel much much better? anw then did not feel like studying so walked around the school loh.
went to roof garden then the doors not locked so jingyu and meixian went in?! it is like so damn scary loh and besides i did not want to get caught so i did not go in. then it was like i was all alone thinking of all those stuff again. haii dunno why also then felt so damn down again?! anw then we went to play the piano haha so funnie. jingyu's playing so damn good can she knows how to play the song an jing!!! oh my goodness! so damn cool can. thanks for playing it haha well it did make me feel better yepps thanks ((:
oh wells later got chinese tuition sian loh and the thing is that my chinese paper is on thursday and my dad dont allow me to change days?! fuck loh dunno how i am supposed to learn all my stuff finish by today mans. and then think i'll most likely flunk math?! like only 30 minutes to do one damn long paper?! haii. hopeless mans me haii and i am still online here?! think i better go liaos. haii me so sad now. haii. anw tk care guys esp jingyu okay?! cheer ups okay dear ((: dont be so sad kkaes? yepps. iloveyou mei. yepps.
--x--
haii jenn dont want to cut her hair liao now i wld be the only one cutting? haii now feeling worse loh. haii dunno why also somehow feel that i have let someone down and it is like haii. sorry k if you are reading this loh. just now had tuition and found out that my memory is really
bad cant even remember a single thing that is in chap 1. or 2 or 3 or 4 or 5 or whatever. then got a scolding mans walao eh today just just
not my day mans. then i told my tcher that i was under depression and that i wanted to commit suicide then she got pissed of with me?! she said life is very important okay! haii thats what my mother said too just now when i told her abt the pple who wanted to commit sucide (which was myself) then she also said that loh.
yepps haii wonder when god wld take me to heaven. think it wld be a paradise there loh i mean living here on earth is seriously suffering and though there are many happy times they all dont last
forever. haii so sad loh how i wish
that day wld last forever! that moment that time. haii. well guess it was all just not meant to be loh. haii okay i am
not going to think of my past. yepps going to stay happy ((: well i have been typing
alot lately in my blog. dunno why but it somehows makes me feel much much better and i am able to express myself loh. yepps. haii tmr having math and elit. going to fail terribly mans haii x|
cant seem to cheer jingyu up. she's been sulking the whole day and she always look so sleepy in the morning. dont okay dont tire yourself out okay dear. there are loads of pple here who cares for you okay. yepps smile okay like what you used to tell me. ilu mei -huggstightly-
18:41
20030602
ahhhh! this sux loh. argh just read through the erm answers for the geog paper! ahhhh think i am going to get so many mistakes loh. haii i am feeling so so so so sad now! ahhhhhh. going to cry liao! but okay maybe i wont get that low but yah i just hope i can get at least a2 loh or not! i am really going to cry. but somthing is cheering me up. me going to cut my hair on thrusday! cant wait! with jenn. yay! haha finally ((:
anw cant seem to get anything into my head for history now. haii sian loh dunno what the hell i am studying can. haii think i'll most likely flunk it mans! help! wish i could just at least pass history cos anw i am not going to choose it for sec 3. yepps going to take geog. hehs anw haii think i better go and study for my history though i dont think it would be of any use so yarhs. haii. i need some help here haii but i dont think anyone can help me except myself right? so yarhs. haiiiiiiii!!! someone save me! x|
18:43
|| `you are my only love ||
today had mid years. geog and english. i used so much correction tape loh cos i did not read instructions for geog then i had to correction tape everything. sian loh then was so noisy! hehs. so paiseh loh. anw geog paper most of the questions all get from the book he wrote so most of them i know lah. yepps. but then for the map reading right haii me so careless loh supposed to be tropical of capricorn then i put tropical of cancer! haii! hope i still can get a1 for it cos i really really wna get my colour phone! ahhhhhh. oh wells if i am lucky then i can get lah.
english was so hard esp the compre! walao damn hard loh could not answer most of the questions. most of the questions they ask are like so hard?! then me dunno how to answer. haii. tmr got history and i have like hardly studied and here i am blogging. haii. me really dunno how to manage my time mans. just now slept in the car while coming home. my mother was complianing abt my belt once she saw me loh. i mean my belt isnt that low what. yepps. hehs havent sew my the other belt yet. haii. dunno when i can sew it lower when my mother not noticing or when she having class then i sew. haha. i am so pai but thats me. hehs. actually i think i damn guai already loh. yeah. there are many pple in my school worse than me. much worse.
stupid zhong tcher. she damn idiot loh she go and lost my ting xie!!! wtf! cos she asked us to collect the ting xie papers then i went lah then i was like lao shi where's mine? then she was like oh i cant find yours! then i was like what?!!! then she was like aiyah dont get so worked up lah. after the test i re-test you okay. i was like fuck loh i mean she come and lost my ting xie then wna come and give me re-test. i just said no to her. haha i am so mean but that is the way she should be treated! such idiots should be treated this way! hehs.
anw think i am going to study liao. i dont want to fail for history loh. i mean nvm i dont wna fail for any of my subjects! i wna get 6 a's and i am very very determined! okay so me better get movin`. dont think i am able to sign guestbooks today so sorry yeah? yepps.
pauline: eh so you want me to ask my mother or not arh?
jingyu: eh! you dont DONT do those kind of things again okay! never! anw tmr study with you kaes? yepps tk care and iloveyou. dont cry kaes? i am always available if you want a listening ear ((:
just changed the layout of my blog. hehs my dear sister helped me with it yepps. wna thank here here. yepps. ((: beeeg thank you. spent the whole damn day being a
nerd. cant believe it just bcos of a stupid geog test! hehs anw hopefully i can get a1 for it yepps. hehs. anw now it is 12.27am in the morning so guess i am going to sleep liaos. *nites (:
jingyu: dont be so sad okay. why so sad you never tell me anything ): okay nvm but dont be sad okay? yepps cheer up dear ((: iloveyou mei (: see you in school tmr okay. yepps.
20030601
okay today got no time to post a long message so i think i'll just post this erm short nice thing loh. yepps.
If you're askin if I need you,
the answer is forever!
If you're askin if I'll leave you,
the answer is never!
If your askin what I value,
the answer is You!
If you're askin if I love you,
that answer is I DO!
18:15