cant stand it. theres still something wrong wit signmyguestbook.com. haii. why why and why? why does everything bad have to happen to me? haii. tab! we're so unlucky. haii. :| im leading such a miserable life.
i hate this unloved feeling `
havent been blogging recently huh? hahah. too lazy lah. anw life's been very horrible for me. i just dont understand why some pple are just so happy. haii guess things for
them are going well. well, for me its the total opposite :| why must all the problems come at the same time? haii.
mixed feelings
anw this week is counted as one of my most horrible week in school. well, think most of the pple know that i cut myself right? yea. my sister found out and she started crying in the theatre loh. haii felt so damn bad. sorry yea. but .. haii. ohwells. really very very stressed. then she did not want to talk to me? haii was really sad then. haii. anw then in school everyone like found out so damn fast about my cuts? well, guess it was pretty obvious on my hands huh? mms. then heard that someone went to tell wang laoshi abt my cuts. then wang laoshi found out about tab's and kate's one too. then we were like so freaked out? i cried in school several times. cant seem to control myself anymore. the first time i cried was when i saw karina crying then i felt like so sad and then i also started crying in 1 purity while hugging amanda's mogu cusion. haii. well,
amanda hope you like it dear partner (: yepps. then ran all the way back to class and everyone seemed so shocked that i was actually crying. mms. anw cried .. but it did not make me feel better. haii all those things still going in and out of my mind. i really dunno what to do.
anyhow, stayed back wit tab one of the days and she told me lotts of things. told her lotts of things too but not the name yet lah. hehs. not going to say. but she's nice to talk to .. at least she knows how i feel. haii.
tab hope you feel better now dear (: yea. then also told wanxin something. mms. then the next day in school i cried again? cos i had to meet tcher and then i was so scared that tcher was going to call my parents. so was tab and kate. then cos jenn started crying then i started crying too. cos of some problems. haii. i really dunno loh jenn. haii i feel very odd when im there. haii you shld know what im talking abt right? haii. i just feel that your dont care at all. ohwells. then cried several thimes in school. really alot. once i stop crying, i will find out something else that wld make me cry again. haii. anw during recess supposed to go for the monitor meeting but i did not go cos me tab and kate went to look for laoshi together. talked to her and told her alot of things about whats happening in our lives. not everything of course. yepps. she's very nice to talk to. really very nice. such a waste she's not a counseller. she'd make a very good one (: hehs. yepps.
then felt much better after that. mms. really. then she promised not to call our parents. yea. she's damn nice loh though she seem fierce. yepps. then at home i started crying too because of some other problems? yea. cried while talking to jenn, wanxin and pauline. talked to pauline and jeff alot. thanks for giving me advice (: but anw now that problem is solved and im so happy. but then .. having some mixed feelings abt it as i said just now. haii ohwells. im always the one. why? its so unfair. then stayed back practically the whole week cos have to prepare the item for the seniors. yepps. it turned out quite good lehs. counted that we only had 48 hrs to prepare everything? yea. so its good. hahah. (:
anw had camp yesterday. POP camp. really sad. going to miss the sec 4's. haii. okay the camp was really tiring. really tiring! only had like 4 hrs of sleep? wth loh. like hello. i need rest? hurr. went to sch in the morning then went macs wit jenn and shuyu. yea. met wx there and we ate breakfast there. headed off for sentosa after that. the sentosa trip was quite fun lah. shuyu, jenn, wx, merisa, peiyu and me were in one team. hahah damn funny. mms. had fun la. got so damn wet loh. cos we were sort of "forced" to swim across the sea? yepps. then all my clothes were like so damn wet can! waliew. hahah. was playing "amazing race". hahah. so had no choices. yea. then played wit the sand and everything. hahah. was fun la. esp when we kept on running away. mms. then came back to school. the 6 of us had the whole toilet to ourselves loh. then we took our own sweet time to bathe cos we had like 1 hr 45 mins liddat? yea. so shu fu leh! hahah. oh yah .. did a gliter thing on my hand. dont think its very nice though. haii. ohwells. then practised our item in the drama studio. me and shuyu were dancing fine. yea.
then when the thing came .. shuyu danced wrongly! was so malu. but nvm lah anw pple do make mistakes right? so .. nvm lah. yea. then was laughing like crap loh. our item was really spastic x| hahah. anw its over. then at like 12 liddat me and shuyu finally fell asleep then at like 4 + we were called down to do drills. then we did not make it in time so we had to do it again and again and again. waliew. was sweating like crap can! then like so whatever loh. make us do until so many times. hurr. anw then did it until like 5.45am liddat then finally got to go back. then just as i was going to fall asleep again, the seniors came to call us down for footdrills again! waliew and its like only the sec 1's? how unfair can they get. waliew. then somemore its those seniors that we dont even know! wth loh. hurr. then poor shuyu was having stomachache. she looked really sick so she got to rest. so lucky loh. then wx fell dwn and scraped her knee so she also did not have to do. did another 1 hr 30 minutes of drills and then it was time for us to have breakfast. great so great. then could not sleep anymore loh. wth.
anw after that we could rest! then after packing our sleeping bags me and shuyu hugged ours and fell asleep on jenn's. hahah. damn funny. did not know how we could fall asleep but then me and shuyu did. hahah. damn funny. then somemore me and shuyu were lying on the same sleeping bag? yea. hahah. could hear jenn and the rest commenting on us. hahah. but anyhow did not want to wake up after that felt so damn tired but have to what. then went to practise the stupid drills again loh. wth. then i so sway. is in the middle row and i dunno how to shout out the thing and i said wrongly loh! so malu leh! hehs. then the seniors gave out all their posts. hehs. cherie (??) is our NCO! yay. hahah she's damn nice one! (: so lucky. yepps. then when OIC gave out her post i started tearing loh. its like so sad? yea. then weimin was like "your crying?" then i like ren lah. yea. then when the seniors were walking pass they were supposed to check dunno wht or do dunno wht then yiwen said to me "i think youre very pretty leh!" then i was like "?!" then michelle was laughing in squad loh! hurr. anw stood at senang deri position for like 1 hrs plus w/o moving when shuyu and wx could sit down. waliew. was dying can! :| after that went back to drama studio. then the seniors came and we got presents frm the sec 4's damn nice loh. (: so sweet of them. hahah. then weimin damn sway. cos we asked serene to give out the presents for peiyu ans merisa. then its that badge you know the very mean those type? then weimin anyhow go and take one and guess what it said? "roses are red, violets are blue, i thought i was ugly till i met you." waliew. so mean loh the things they said. hahah. then weimin was conplaining. hehs. was laughing. then ate brownies that the sec 3's bought from mrs fields. damn nice! wow. ate alot mann. hehs. yepps. then came home. mms now feeling like so tired? then things are running in and out of my mind? really dunno what im going to do next.
jingyu: heyys dear. aiyah stop cutting kkaes? pls i beg you alrites. i'd go down on my knees to beg you to stop doing tht kkaes? dont believe can ask pauline. i told her that that day on the phone. pls just stop kkaes? loveya. (:
pauline: thanks for all the advice dear. loveya loads!
jeff: heyys thanks for the advice too dear. im finally blogging huh like you asked me too. ohwells. damn boring lah. hahah. (:
tab: heyys dear. aiyah .. i miss .. too. ohwells. things not going to turn out the way we want it to. haii. why? why us? haii. why must we always be the one feeling sad when the other person dont care at all? not even a tiny bit? hate fate. just sucks lah. anyhow you cheer up kkaes? loveya.