i'm about to lose control,
i, i don't know why.
why you need some reason to feel lost inside,
you know that
i'm just the kind of girl that feels so hurt and smiles.
i don't do excuses,
i don't ask why.
it's just a breakdown.
it happens all the time.
so get outa my face,
don't even try.
yeah y loved you all my life,
but you don't even know a thing i feel inside
no, by the look in my eye,
that i'm just fine but i might need you to hold me tight.
woke up at like nine today ? then went back ta sleep. then woke up again, slept again ? did it like three times till
jingyu msged me ta tell me she was near my haus already ? rushed all da way but in da end, i still didnt make it in time :/ hurr. met her at da interchange & we ate at
swensens ! haha spent like a BOMB there ! im super super broke now ! haha. plus da drink sucked ! was damn freakin' bitter la ! wth. haha. ahwells.
took a bus ta pasir ris park. walked far in & decided ta check out wild wild wet. so walked back ta downtown east. afta that, we didnt wanta go wild wild wet anymore so headed ta da arcade :/ spent quite a bit there ! haha da game was super fun ! we wanted so hard ta beat da high score & in da end, WE DID ! :D hahha. spent like almost three hours there. yes, can you imagine how much we spent ? :/
afta that walked around. we were damn bored so thought of going ta compass point but it was like so far. ended up going ta ikea. got my stuff & ate da ice cream & hot dog there :) damn nice ! haha anyhows, then headed back home. had fun la :)
jus finish watching
star runner ! damn nice movie ! cried a couple of times ? super nice movie ! oh my gawd. its like so touching ? oh how i wish :l forget it. it'll only happen in movies & dreams anyways. im thinking too far. fairytales dont exist at all. sigh :(
i love it when we do what we do, 'cause we do what we do 'til it's done. i love the way we do what we do, 'cause we do what we do and it's fun. you're the one.
i'm standing on the bridge
i'm waiting in the dark
i thought that you'd be here by now
there's nothing but the rain
no footsteps on the ground
i'm listening, but there's no sound
isn't anyone trying to find me?
won't somebody come take me home
it's a damn cold night
trying to figure out this life
won't you, take me by the hand, take me somewhere new
i don't know who you are but i, i'm with you
i'm with you.
okays i shall BLOG.
today wasnt a good day fer me. cried alot. hurr :/ got back results. i did like SHIT. sigh. wasnt what i expected at all. damn disappointed with myself. guess my parents are really disappointed with me too huh ? thanks alot :l whatever. i dont wanta care, at least only fer now x| got into trouble with seet. wth. she come & catch me fer my damn ear ring ? then come check my attire also ? WTF man ! what shit is this ? then that
bloody mrs christina tan jus had ta rub salt into da wound ? say what "she's ex-monitor somemore !" thanks a bunch man ! im so freakin' pissed ! HURR. damn them la ! rahhs ! :(
rushed home afta school.
thanks bestie sis fer listening ! :D haha changed & went ta meet
jana. heh poor girl. sorry fer making you walk so long jus ta find me. heh sorry dear ! anyhows, headed ta town AGAIN. met
joanna phyllicia camillia & jervenne. yeap ! walked around. ate pastamania with jana ! haha pig out ! went heeren, took neos. had a great time bitching with them there. haha observing ppl ! LOL -looks at jana !
waited fer like fourty five LONG minutes then it was finally our turn :/ wisma afta that. went fox & got a skirt, but i forgot ta bring it home cos left it with joanna first. oh wells. sorry ! went fer mass with them cos its our last session so had mass. then had refreshments ! :D haha im so damn HAPPY ! that was jus now. heh. omg ! they're so damn bloody cute ! OMG OMG OMG ! -stares
haha okays la. shall blog about other days ! heh :)
tuesday
town with my sister. crapped around as usual. wanted ta catch
the exorsist but didnt dare sneak in so caught
wimbledon instead. great show. at least it made me cry :) da guy's so sweet ! their childrem are so cute ! heh. shopped around. wanted ta go topshop & all BUT think they having some kinda dinner & dance so they closed early. yeh. so didnt get ta go :/ that's about it. heh.
wednesday
out with
nicol ! my silly bestie :) anyhows, met her & we went shopping ! haha she bought so much stuff ! thats cos she was RICH & i was broke :/ hate it when im broke ! haha. took neos ! caught
dodgeball with her though i didnt really want to. but in da end, it was quite okay la. haha at least it was worth da amount, i guess ? dontknow. it was okay. haha laughed quite abit :) but da freakin' guy who sat behind me was SO IRRITATING ! kept kicking my chair ! wth HURR :l
left fer home afta that. but met
jingyu at amk mrt first ! haha ta get my hug & we discussed about when ta meet & all. yeap ! came home & did sth. got hurt. great. hurr hurts like hell lors ! freak ! im gna have a bitch fit. HAHA. not funneh. ahwells. yeh had fun with my silly bestie ! haha we rock ;)
thursday
out with
jingyu ! heh met her
early in da morning at like 0950 hrs ? killer man. heh ahwells. headed ta sentosa ! played in da water ! haha she burried me in da sand ! bully me :( saw
sheena ! heh. then played in da water ! sun tanned, played in da water again, then went tanning again. haha. was sleeping on da stupid chair when we got chased outta it cos it was ONLY meant fer hotel guests. haha. so dumb. anyhows, was kinda chao ta. haha. wanted ta roller blade BUT decided not ta cos da fees were quite expensive. headed down ta harbourfront ta have a drink. then went town. caught
white chicks again. haha this time i laughed, really laughed ! haha that idiot laughed so damn loud & funneh ! haha. she kept laughing damn evil-ly (?!) hahahha. meanie ! rushed home afta da movie. yeap. heh had a HOT & GORGEOUS time ! :D
finally realised who are my real TRUE friends. some are jus temporary, but others are fer a lifetime. & i think i know who they are. i thought - were, but i guess i was all along wrong about -. i guess its true, everything do come to an end. no matter how hard im trying ta save it, its going no where. no matter how hard i try, il fail. so what's da point ? i give up. i totally give up. damn. this is self-denial. dont wanna be someone im not -big sigh
happy birthday pauline !
can't you see i want you,
by the way i push you away.
yeah, don't judge me tomorrow by the way i'm actin' today.
mix the words up with the actions,
do it all for your reaction, yeah.
hey, hey, get tangled up in me
EOYS is like finally over ! :D omg how's that ? its like so quick ! haha. anyhows, have been studying in school fer da past few weeks ? yeh. screwed all my papaers. especailly chemistry & math paper one. didnt even complete it la ? wth man. ahwells. God jus wants my grades ta be bad :/
had our last chinese paper today. finished at 0930hrs then had breakfast in school. i didnt eat though. headed down ta cine with
mersa, peiyu, jing, pau, jae, bernice, ta get tickets fer
white chicks. lunched at burger king. ate one full meal ? wth. fattening ! anyhows, walked around. town was like 'infested' with st nicks girls la ? hahah everywhere we go also see one group ! especially our batch one ! hahaha :)
took neos. accidentally stepped on pau's specs & it went slanted ta one side ? :/ rushed ta heeren ta get it fixed. luckily it was free & nothing was wrong ! ran all da way back ta cine. went fer da movie afta that.
half da theatre were grey badge st nicks girls ! HAHA anyhows, someone was tailing me all da way ! wtF. get a life. haha though she might not be thinking this way ? heh. ahwells. i feel mean. sorrys. cant help it. later headed down ta heeren again ? walked around. didnt get anything though.
later all of us split. it was left with
pau, jing, jae & jingyu. went wisma ta get jing's pencil case ? then jae had ta leave. so sent her off. then headed ta far east ? walked so much ! havent done that in ages ! legs aching like shit now ! haha. walked around. got my left ear pierced :/ jus found out its da wrong ear. rahhs ! ahwells. i cant undo it anyways. thanks mersa fer telling me ! :) jingyu pierced with me too ! thanks dear ! :D then went pacific plaza ? nothing much. still didnt get anything. was eyeing a bag though. heh.
left fer yishun with jingyu cos i wanted ta get da bag. got da other design in da end. dad got a new phone fer himself too. haha i dont like it. but its his choice so, i respect it :) walked her ta da bus stop. cos her card didnt have any money left, came up with this stupid idea ! haha in da end she didnt wanta use it. lol. walked back ta cold storage, got fishballs ta eat as dinner. on a diet you see ? then i asked fer change so she used coins instead. haha. beta alternative la huh ? took bus 853. was feeling quite happy at first. like .. so accomplished. but i guess im feeling da TOTAL opposite now.
da whole of today didnt go da way i wanted it ta. well, your may think i was laughing so hard during da movie. actually, i wasnt. it wasnt really that funny ta me. jus that .. i dontknow. jus too many things going through my mind now. dont feel like telling anyone how i feel cos i guess, no one really understands. sigh. im sucha failure. fullstop. everything i do is God's will. so i guess il jus hafta accept my fate. i thought today would be great. but i guess i was wrong. i was never right anyways. jus when my mood was changing fer da beta, il jus be irritated again. wtH. damn myself la. whatever. ahwells. ive a busy week ahead. im a busy person. heh.
im off ta die.
i know il cry myself ta sleep tonight.
i alwis thought you were there,
but when i reached out fer you,
i couldnt find anyone.
i was alone,
out here to suffer ALL BY MYSELF.