the trip down memory lane wasn't easy, at all. i thought i could get past that, but i couldn't & obviously i didn't. i seriously thought everything was going to eventually fall into place but i was wrong. totally wrong. maybe i'm just not ready for it to happen today. the sudden change of emotions. but i guess it happened. fuck it.
on a much much much lighter note, i had much fun with my two beloved friends :) & i got my pay too! office job is over & done with! so i worked two days & have to wait a month for my pay check. hahaha.
it was april fools day! so i was the target of many many assholes. haha. even cherlyn & amerie tried to trick me. keyword: tried. i ain't such a fool after all! keith & xuan hong sent the same forwarded text to me one after the other. haha but keith was one step behind, sorry retarded :) then there was yan yi's. bitch! the first text to give me a heart attack! haha but i love you anyway, all of you :)
i guess this song just brought back much memories. the timing wasn't right at all, not at all.
It's been a long time since you called me
(How could you forget about me)
You got me feeling crazy (crazy)
How can you walk away,
Everything stays the same
I just can't do it baby
What will it take to make you come back
Girl I told you what it is & it just ain't like that
Why can't you look at me, your still in love with me
Don't leave me crying.
i think i've made many mistakes in making choices in my life. studies, didn't do very well enough for my standards in the major exams at all. when it came to deciding what i should venture into, i chose banking. but is that was i really want? not quite. how am i supposed to study something i don't enjoy? why did i choose this course? cause my parents wanted me to. they said it was a promising industry which will never ever fail. true enough, but i don't know. i just have to survive two more years. hope things will be better then.
i'm such a let down. to the people who loved me so much. so so much they were willing to do anything for me. but why didn't i open my eyes wider to realise it, to see it? cause i was too naive. i thought god was guiding me with every step i took. maybe he was, maybe he wasn't. i don't know, but i choose to believe he was.
i know i ain't exactly the one you'd turn to first thing whenever you're down, upset, sick or whatsoever. but i just wish i could be the one who'd be there for you when you need me. after all, what are best friends for, right? but it's okay, i don't blame you cause i haven't been there lately too. i just hope you'll continue staying strong for him. cause you know he's there too, in one way or another. i love you, bestie.
i've got to learn to let go now. let go of all the things which i have given up because of my stupidity. fuck this shit. tomorrow will be a brighter day.
happy april fools day to all.