the more you want to hold me back, the more i want to be free. it suddenly seems like i'm living in total darkness. not one day i look forward to the next thinking it's going to be a better day. maybe you're the reason why i've become like this, angsty, filled with hate, anger and everything else which comes along with that. it's as though cheryl's forecast is always dark clouds with storm ahead. ha ha ha. it's so not funny.
yes, indeed i promised one entire week. but c'mon, don't be too hard on me. i've been keeping to it till today. it's been three days. get over it. i'm no longer a 5 year old kid. i need my life, it's not my fault i'm popular (HAHA)
well, truth be told, i don't know what's going on now. it's complicated, damn right it is. all i can say is, hopefully things will get better. in a year or two. lehman declaring chapter 11 bankruptcy, merrill lynch taken over by bank of america, jp morgan seems like the next victim. where the hell is my standing when i graduate? if i tell you i ain't affected, that's a lie. it's cheryl, why won't i worry? because i always do worry too much. & i've been told.
lunched with kpt this afternoon. she's a fucking nice lady :) she treated us to an awesome lunch, can't be more thankful, miss koh. she was speaking about this new guy in np who has his own views on most things, that he doesn't conform. it got me thinking quite a bit i must say. why do people conform? because they desire to be accepted, they want to fit in. how many people out there have the guts to voice their opinions? i can say, it's less than 1%. but then again, what choices do we have? we were brought up in this culture where you are right, and we are always wrong. you decide what's best for us, even though sometimes, it ain't what we really want. (WHY SCARED?)
can you understand what the hell is going through my mind?
don't try if you can't, because you won't. & i doubt you'll get what i'm trying to say anyway. unless of course you too have a joint infrared system with yours truly. don't ask, because i'll most likely forget what happened, or rather bury it somewhere & pretend to forget.
holidays? what holidays? it's all just fucked up.
but nonetheless, i thank god for the awesome friends i made at work through this fucked up period, & of course you, for always being there for me with each step i take.
i love you.
now, that's the only thing which calls for celebration. drinks, anyone?