When the going gets tough...
I can barely hold up :( Fatigue is kicking in but this physical torture is nothing compared to the mental one I have to go through, starting today. Lord, please grant me the strength to keep going. I can't give up now. I need this. It will get better in time. Hahahha well done, I'm trying to convince myself.
I thank the boy for his continuous encouragement & patience :) He surprised me with breakfast (for today), yesterday. That silly one called to say "I'm lost somewhere in Cecil Street. Could you help me?" Hahahaha so because of him, I get to enjoy Barcook Bakery's finest raisin cheese bread this morning :) Thank you b!!! We must persevere! We can do this :)
Turtle's back. Meh.
I am so weird sometimes.
Devoured by emotional instability. Why? Beats me too.
Things that originally don't affect me, now does. I can't get this feeling off my back. It's like I know I shouldn't feel this way but somehow I still do. Honestly, I think it's ridiculous. It doesn't make sense. Am I starting to lean over too much? I don't want to be too reliant, nor be the possessive sort. I don't think I have much issues with the latter. So I gotta start being independent. I will! Prolly just disappointed; When you're looking forward to something but it gets taken away? Shitty eh? Okay I have decided that feeling this way is
LAME. I shall not allow it to take control!!!
I hope I find something that may inspire me to do great things that will last in the long run. I can't wait for Kelly to get back to me about the YMCA trips this year so I can plan my leave appropriately. It's been awhile since I last served a community. Brings me back to Chang Rai -- beautiful memories those were. And believe it or not, St John. I kinda miss having something to fight for, the 'want to achieve' that spurred me on to perform and/or outperform. & the feeling of fulfillment when you attain your goals... I don't think I can ever put it down in words. Not forgetting the lovely cadets, fellow officers & friendships forged. Oh, what great memories! Should I start committing again? Hmmm. Decisions, decisions.
Still crossing my fingers, hoping to receive a positive reply ASAP. I know they are pretty inefficient though & it sucks that waiting is the only thing I can do. Please pray for me too.
Guess what? I'm feeling much better already! I don't know how or why but WHEEEE! I feel good ~ Okay maybe not, but definitely a vast improvement! I will conquer you. Go away & no one gets hurt. Literally. HAHA.
Till the next,
Xx.