20041113
something isn't right
i can feel it again, feel it again
this isn't the first time
that you left me waiting
sad excuses & false hopes high
i saw this coming; still i don't know why
i let you in
i knew it all along
you're so predictable
i knew something would go wrong
(something's always wrong)
so you don't have to call
or say anything at all
it's so predictable (so predictable)
so take your empty words, your broken promises
and all the time you stole
cos i am done with this
i could give it away, give it away
i'm doing everything i should've
now i'm makin a change, i'm living the day
i'm giving back what you gave me
i don't need anything
i knew it all along
you're so predictable
i knew something would go wrong
(something's always wrong)
so you don't have to call
or say anything at all
you're so predictable (so predictable)
everywhere i go
everyone i meet
everytime i try to fall in love
they all wanna know why i'm so broken
why am i so cold ?
why i'm so hard inside
why am i scared ?
what am i afraid of ?
i don't even know
this storys never had an end
i've been waiting,
i've been searching,
i've been hoping,
i've been dreaming you would come back
but i know the ending of this story
you're never coming back
never.. never .. never .. never (echo)
i knew it all along
you're so predictable
i knew something would go wrong
(somethings always wrong)
so you don't have to call
or say anything at all
you're so predictable (so predictable)
everywhere i go for the rest of my life
everyone i love
everyone i care about (so predictable)
they're all gonna wanna know what's wrong with me
and i don't know what it is (so predictable)
i'm ending this right now (so predictable)
read every single sentence, every single word of this song. how true :l
today was a killer cos i hardly got my sleep ! :( woke up at like NINE ? how early is that ? hurr. then went ta school fer first aid revision.
suhui was mainly da one revising all da stuff with us. yeap. we were joking around all the time till she flared :/ opps. sorry. haha we didnt mean it. our squad was like PATHETIC today la ? i dont think it's even considered a squad la ? only seven (out of twenty two) of us showed up ? HAHA.
shu; val; huiwen; huiting; yingjie; lingyan; plus ME.
went jeight fer luch after revision. took a long time ta decide where ta lunch at. chose yoshinoya in da end. hehh had fun with them la. they're like so crappy :) wanted ta take neos but we didnt have enough time so .. yeh. didnt. left fer headquarters. did some crazy shit on da mrt. HAHA :D
finally reached headquarters. changed into half uniform then had our first aid re-test :/ i know i passed my practical BUT my theory i failed like crap so, it's useless anyways. had ta do
CPR, bandaging & TOC. CPR totally sucked i tell you. that STUPID sir was damn irritating ! walau. where got ppl head tilt chin lift till NINETY DEGREES one ? da person's neck dont break i dont believe la ! :l so idiotic. kept on picking on
shu & i ? what the hell :l
wenxun & ruowei should have gone in ta take us instead ! it would have been MUCH better ! anyhows,
charles sir took us fer bandaging &
michael (i think) took us fer TOC. it was quite fun & slack la. haha my bandaging rocks :D
got let out at around four thirty ? changed out of our half uniform & walked
shu ta the opposite bus stop. was supposed ta leave with
val; yingjie; lingyan. but in da end
val didnt join us cos her parents could fetch. so it was only left with da three of us. we supposingly wanted ta take a bus down ta city hall mrt BUT cos we got carried away arguing if
sylvester or
jay was cuter, we missed our stop & the bus driver continue driving til we got lost. haha. got off da next stop & found our way back. hehhhh thanks ta my great sense of direction :)
alighted at somerset ta meet my sis. was supposed ta watch
taxi at cine but it was raining so went ta plaza singapura instead. unfortunately, tickets were sold out there. so we jus walked back ta cine cos it stopped raining. went ta bits & pieces ? got two rings. one black, one silver :D carved sth with my sis on one :)) went shopping later on. so i didnt watch my movie in da end ! :(((
shopped at cine, then heeren. took neos too :) was supposed ta go wisma & taka but was too lazy plus it was getting late. got two tops in da end :) after shopping, dined at marchè. got dinner fer my family & came home later on. yeap. jus came out from my shower. im so freakin' tired :/
it's amazing how you can speak right to my heart, without saying a word you can light up the dark.
;
stella;
HELLO :D haha. thanks fer dropping by ! anyways, i didnt know it was friendship week ? haha anyhows, THANKS ! take care ! LOVE :D
wan er;
hey :) thanks fer dropping by. haha yeap ! see you soon ! :D
11:59
20041112
and long ago,
i lost my soul,
to some forgotten dream and
how was i supposed to know
it wasn't what it seemed ?
and even though the last hello,
has left me on the floor,
i don't believe in romeos or heroes anymore.
super nice song :))
anyhows as usual, what a boring day. home all day, doing nothing at all. dad was driving me crazy. he kept disturbing me. i was so annoyed. soon, he gave up & my whole family left without me :) managed ta crawl out of my bed at around one thirty. used da computer, designed a new blog. yeah.
thanks
hugger; jinghui; jaime; julia; andrea; fer listening ta me complain. heh really helped alot ! thanks fer everything :)
had tuition later on. how boring ! :l my tcher went on & on reading that
chinese book fer like TWO HOURS ? oh my gawd. can sleep man ! i was dying over there ! finally she left & watched
singapore idol.
sylvester almost got out la ! luckily he didnt ! it'll be so disappointing fer everyone ! haha :) daphne was out. oh wells. kinda expected it. then continued watching
the champions ! justice was finally prevailed man. retribution fer yilin's next :)
okays. i havent bathed YET & it's kinda getting too late fer bathing time so, laters :D
;
calling out your name, your face is everywhere. i'm reaching out to you to find that you're not there. i wake up every night to see the state i'm in, it's like an endless fight, i never seem to win. i can't go on as long as i believe. can't let go when i keep wondering: where are you now, what have you found? where is your heart, when i'm not around ? where are you now, you gotta let me know so i can let you go. i can hear your voice, the ring of yesterday. it seems so close to me, but yet so far away. i should let it out to save what's left of me and close the doors of doubt, revive my dignity. but, i can't go on as long as i believe, can't let go when i keep wondering :/
22:02
changed my layout cos i was so bored at home :l anyhows, sign my guestbook kept opps-ing me so, here's a reply !
you;
i cant believe you're so !$&*&^#$@*&^ you actually went ta my cca blog & write this kinda stuff. if you hate me, so be it. why go all da way ta do this kinda stuff which makes ppl dislike you even more. i treat everyone the same. maybe my close friends a lil' differently. you dont hafta care. even if you are my ememy, (i cant think of any unless you're joanna koh. if you're please look back & realise what you've done before doing this despicable, contemptible & loathsome act) you dont hafta go til this extend.
look, i treat everyone nicely alright. so maybe you would like to stop all these nonsense cos it's really too much. you've gone too far dont you think so ? & i know who you are. who are you speaking up fer ? could you PLEASE give yourself a name. thanks ALOT fer this. cos, this is really getting no where. i'll swear if i could. if you're such a person who bears grudges, then it's too bad. cos i know i havent offended anyone & i dont. so if you would jus mind your own bussiness & stop all these cos it's really getting no where. you want to argue, you can argue in here. no where else. cos it's like really too much if you go affect my cca too.
really, i mean. you should jus know your limits. why do you not leave your name ? cos you're afraid of getting into trouble ? i mean, it's a normal thing. so i suggest you stop all these cos it's really too much of you. where are your conscience ? if you hate me so much, why dont you come straight to me & say it. by doing this, you're proving nothing actually. you're jus showing how childish you are.
like you said, i dontknow you SO you dontknow me. then how do you know da way i treat ppl ? please stop minding my business & go mind your own. have a taste of my own medicine ? please. you really should show others some respect man. you wouldnt like it if someone were ta do it ta you, would you ? & da main point is I DONTKNOW YOU ! dontknow why you're doing this. fer attention or whatever. jus step aside cos, you're going way way WAY too far.
like i've said, you wanta argue, please do it only in here. dont go affect my cca ppl cos i dont want them ta get involved. they have nothing ta do with this. you hate me, come try & get me. but dont pull others along. you're being so ridiculous. imagine if you were in my position, would you like it ? obviously not right ? maybe you should go pray. God teaches us to be kind to others, even your enemies. so you should go read da bible. it really helps. by doing this, it's really getting no where. you want attention ? go somewhere else.
oh yes, do you have any proof fer all da stuff you've said ? you dont right ? so i dont think you have the right to make such comments on others. if you're not the same person who went to my cca tag ta say all those stuff, jus ignore some of da parts which doesnt concern you. cos obviously da first person who i will suspect is you right ? that you should understand. thanks ALOT. your coorperation would be much appreciated.
why ? haha i'm so happy :/
i'm feeling so horrible now. have you any idea how much i've been through ? obviously not. i hate you. all those lies. all the broken promises. all that is left undone. you didn't keep to your word. why did you even promise me if you knew that you can't do it ? WHY ? i hate you ! i hate you ! I HATE YOU !
20041111
in the still of the night,
i can almost feel you lying next to me,
like it used to be.
and it's hard to let go,
when there's always something there reminding me,
how things could be.
i've tried to get you off my mind.
i've tried to play my part.
but every time i close my eyes,
you're still inside my heart.
like the stars in the sky,
you still keep on shining down your light on me.
but it seems out of reach.
i try to look the other way,
and keep my heart on hold.
but every time i'm close to you,
i lose my self control.
why can't i laugh ?
why must i cry,
everytime we say goodbye ?
why does it rain,
here in my heart
every day that we're apart ?
why can't it be
just you and me ?
what will it take to make you see ?
im in such a bad mood now, it seems like it's affecting everyone around me. sorrys. cant help it. im like so fucking irritating with every single soul now. so dont talk ta me. dontknow what's wrong with me ! cant seem ta find anything good in anyone. hurrs. oh wells. hope il be fine soon. anyhows,
happy birthday reen ! :)
today's one boring day. hell, it was a killer in fact. woke up at around two in da afternoon. no lunch. how great. cooked & survived on maggie. then watched tv, talked ta my mom, played computer games & then at around six fourty five, left fer my uncle's party ? dontknow if it's called a party or what. but went ta this bungalow at changi. the addresses are according ta letters & SO coinsidentally, he was in M. wow. great :/ jus ate & rot over there. luckily there was tv. if not, i would have died. watched tv all da way from seven til ten. butt was aching like hell jus now. ohwells. now i've finally came ta realise that life's so boring ! :/
someone, please mend my broken wings ! :(
yesterday was FUN :) went over ta
pauline's condo at around eleven thirty ? heh went swimming with her. it was supposed ta be only da two of us but, decided ta ask
jaime along since she stays there too. so she joined us after persuading her fer such a long time. went swimming fer a while til it started ta rain. had lunch there & went back swimming.
was supposed ta go back ta school ta look fer
sai & shu but decided not to since there was no one ta accompany pauline. bathed, changed & went ta look fer jae again cos she went home earlier on. went ta the gym ta work out. wow. i hafta go exercise more often ! im gaining weight :/
mom called & asked me ta go out with her. so i agreed. cabbed home, bathed again & left.
dad alighted my whole family except him at tanjong pagar mrt. how's that ? walked at this shopping mall ? there was nothing there so we left. went taka & dined at soul garden. oh my gosh. havent been there in like dotnknow how many years ? it was damn expensive though. ate so much ! i embarrassed myself once ? OMG. cant erase that off man ! my sister kept on laughing at me. wth. so not funneh ! :/
later shopped around & got some stuff. dad finally called at around eleven ? so we cabbed down ta maxwell food centre. found him & we left fer home. by the time we reached home it was already twelve ? was so damn tired :/
oh yes, if
you who signed my guestbook EVER drop by again, please go see my guestbook. after that, i suggest you take your leave. dont want things to get nasty in here. thanks ALOT.
for now, im off. nights world.
you make me so excited, and i don't wanna fight it, i start to blush, you are my sugar rush. ain't nothin better baby, is it for real or maybe ? i start to blush, you are my sugar rush.
23:41
20041109
okay im so freakin' bored & my mood's swinging fer i dontknow what reason. but anyways, yah.
1| what is the brand of your hp?
nokia.
2| what'll you do if you see your gf/bf hugging a guy/girl?
i will walk up & give him one tight slap.
3| have a gf/bf?
no.
4| have your own room?
no BUT i would like one.
5| hates?
ALOT.
6| fears?
everything. what's going ta happen next.
7| where do you live?
singapore.
8| what would you do if somone tells you he/she likes you?
depends ? if it's someone i like too, il be happy. DUH.
9| how are you feeling now?
fucked up.
10| where do you hangout?
everywhere.
11| what are you good at?
everything. hahaHA :/
12| what will you do if you cant stand a person?
il jus shut up ? dontknow. maybe roll my eyes or complain about her ?
13| what do you want?
too many to name.
14| a word that describe you?
mm, i dontknow ? im jus ME ?
15| what is your dream?
haha i dontknow yet.
16| day/night?
night.
17| sunset/sunrise?
sunrise. it's da start of a fresh new day with something new planned ahead fer you. might be good, might be bad. but .. i dontknow la.
18| like a romantic bf/gf?
DUH.
19| what will you do if theres an opposite gender that attracts you?
il do everything ta find out about that person ;)
20| are you an independent person?
guess so.
21| do you like school?
hell YES. but sometimes, no.
22| are you stubborn?
think so. sometimes.
23| believe in god?
definately.
24| your favourite physical feature?
my legs ! HAHAHAH. it's so HOT ! -looks at jingyu ;)
25| believe in fate?
sometimes. haha.
26| get pissed off easily?
yeah. but im tolerant :)
27| like your parents?
love them !
28| are you a materialistic person?
haha i think so.
29| believe in love?
yah.
30)will you get a tattoo?
no ! i think it's AWFUL.
31)smoke?
never EVER. i hate smokers.
32| club / pub?
yeap. when im old enough.
33| will you forgive your gf/bf if he/she cheats on you?
HAHAH. what a question. depends.
34| will you expect your gf/bf to forgive you if you cheats on him/her?
no. cos il never do that.
35)were you on a trip recently?
no.
36| fav country?
no where. heaven maybe.
37) are you impatient?
sometimes.
38| which brands?
everything ?
39| do you organise parties often?
no.
40)do you have good friends?
yeap.
41| do you think you are good looking?
hell NO. im so ugly ! :(
42| do you care about looks?
yes. who doesnt ?
43| do you think that you are a good gf/bf?
i guess im not.
44| do you use vulgarities?
FUCK :)
45| do you quarrel with people easily?
no, unless they really piss me off.
46| are you forgiving?
i think i am, VERY.
47| do you get hurt easily?
obviously. (pauline; jinghui; you should know what im talking about)
48| do you prefer guys/girls wif long/short hair?
guys - short
girls - no preference
49| do you prefer slp or eat?
SLEEP :D
50| is your hair colored?
dark brown.
hoho. im finally done with it. oh yes, ripped it off my sister's blog. michelle tan ! what is this supposed ta mean man ? haha means you only use vulgarities on me ? im so hurt ! :((( okay crap. SOMEONE SAVE ME ! ://
23:24
there’s always that one person that will always have your heart,
you never see it coming cause you’re blinded from the start,
know that you’re that one for me it’s clear for everyone to see,
ooh baby you will always be my boo.
mm, lets see. woke up, lunched with my family. then dad sent me ta school fer training. saw
pauline once i stepped out of my car. haha talked ta her fer awhile til we had ta seperate. joined da rest in da st johns room. went fer lunch shortly after. went back,
suhui & i set a first aid case fer
sai. then they did drills while i went ta meet
jingyu ! she got me cookies ! thanks darling ! :D
pauline joined us fer a short while after that. at around 1645hours, left with jingyu fer suntec. shopped around fer presents & stuff. got a nike shorts :) then feasted on waffle with ice cream ? oh my gosh :/ rushed home fer tuition. on da bus back, the freakin' bus driver was SO RUDE ! what the fcuk ? cos da bus was damn crowded, i wanted ta exit by da front door la. so i stood there, tapped my card & wanted ta get down da bus. BUT da door didnt open so i went 'excuse me ?' then da asshole fcuking driver was like 'yah what ? this is da FRONT door. not da exit !' walau then he finally wanted ta open da door fer me. what the hell ? i was so freakin' pissed ! hurrs. came home jus in time fer tuition. after tuition, watch the champions, bathed & came online. there's nothing ta do ! hurrs. oh yes ! forgot ta say, had a short chat with
kel yesterday ! cheerups dear ! :D
okays i shall go find something ta do now. im so bored ! :|
quit breaking my heart, it's tearing apart. all i need is for you to be true. i miss you.
i rawk;
hey. mm, i dontknow who you are. but anyways, if i'm not wrong, thanks fer that. please leave your name next time. thanks fer dropping by :D
20041108
oh my gosh. i think this song applys ta me ALOT :/
she rolls the window down,
and she talks over the sound
of the cars that pass us by,
& i don't know why,
but she's changed my mind.
would you look at her as she looks at me ?
she's got me thinkin' about her constantly,
but she don't know how i feel,
and as she carries on without a doubt,
i wonder if she's figured out,
i'm crazy for this girl.
she was the one to hold me,
the night the sky fell down,
and what was i thinkin' when,
the world didn't end ?
why didn't i know what i know now ?
would you look at her as she looks at me ?
she's got me thinkin' about her constantly,
but she don't know how i feel,
and as she carries on without a doubt,
i wonder if she's figured out,
i'm crazy for this girl.
i'm crazy for this girl,
and right now,
face to face, all my fears,
pushed aside and right now,
i'm ready to spend,
the rest of my life with you.
would you look at her as she looks at me ?
she's got me thinkin' about her constantly,
but she don't know how i feel,
and as she carries on without a doubt,
i wonder if she's figured out,
i'm crazy for this girl.
i'm crazy for this girl ..
would you look at her as she looks at me ?
she's got me thinkin' about her constantly,
but she don't know how i feel,
and as she carries on without a doubt,
i wonder if she's figured out,
i'm crazy for this girl.
yeah, i'm crazy for this girl.
today wasnt exactly a good day fer me. sigh. i hate being ignored by ppl. especially if that person's like ? never mind. i dont think i hafta spell it out, right ? crap shit. im serious. hurr.
today went ta school fer training again ? as usual, did many cases. haha i thought i was quite calm today so
sai, stop complaining ! but thanks fer listening ta me complain jus now & comforting me in da end. haha :D see im nice. stupid painters were painting so we had difficulty doing da last first aid case. oh wells.
went ta look fer
jingyu later on. ate douhua at macs then went jeight with her again. haha did the thing ? dontknow what's that called. but supposingly, it was meant fer kids. hahaha. oh wells. then dined at
pastamania. im so going ta put on tons of weight ! i swear :/
cant believe she did this ta me today ! :(
whatever. i'm so freakin' sad ! :l
anyhows,
my wedding was alright last night. haha. had shark fin & abolone ! :D haha ate like SO MUCH. drank quite a bit too ! haha. like only one pathetic glass of beer :/ dontknow why, but ppl know when i've drank cos my cheeks will turn all red although i dont feel da heat ? LOL.
terrance actually asked me & my sister if we alwis go swimming cos he can see our tan line ? HAHA. means i did it ! haha :)) lets go tanning soon
idiot ! (if you read this)
mm, saturday was GOOD :D in fact, it was
GREAT ! haha. -looks at
jingyu ! :D dad woke me at eleven fourty five ? went
changi village fer lunch ? it's haunted ! then came home, changed & dad sent me ta school. thought i was da latest fer cca but met
mersa & peiyu on da way when i was running through da canteen. covered up fer them & we had twelve pumps ? we had ta like do it on da HOT PIPING track ? had blisters later on. but we shifted so not so bad.
cca was okay la. considering that it was our school's fair ? played husband & wife, bball & lastly h2o ? everyone was so un-enthu ? haha oh wells. then did drills. our whole squad owed them
two hundred and thiry two pumps ! only managed ta return sixty ? which means we owe like dontknow how many hundred more ? :/ hope they dont remember ! haha. did TOC also. later on went jeight with jingyu. caught
princess diaries two. went there jus in time ? so we were like rushing ta get all da chips & stuff & in da end, we still sat in da cinema waiting fer dontknow how long til da show started ? mm, not as nice as da first one though. yeap. that's all.
dontknow what i've left ta say now. it's all your fault.
stupid asshole. haha :/ oh wells. nights.
22:48