Closure.
The idea that you can shut something down forever, exorcise your demons once and for all. In your dreams!
Actually, not even in your dreams. Especially not in your dreams. How can you? Oh sure, you can close down the small stuff. But the big stuff, the stuff that cuts deep, that's a different story. The more you try to shut if off, the more persistant it gets.
no, the above is not by me. haha i copied it from a book i'm currently at right now titled "The Ex-Factor". it itsn't really my kind of book cause it's sick. haha but i continued reading anyway, i don't like leaving things midway done.
but somehow, her words are true. the more i try to keep you off my mind, the more you'll terrorize it & blow me away, under my sheets where i lay crying to myself, asking myself why. then again, i've been through it all & i keep convincing myself that everything will be alright, but when i start to think, i get reminded of everything all over again. why can't anything just go the way i want it to be? god is just opposing me. he hates me :(
then again, i don't know you well enough to know what you're thinking. i don't remember ever having one full conversation with you without anyone else interrupting. just a simple hi & bye. it'll make me seem like i'm in heaven. haha.
& i pretty much know why the hell i'm feeling this way. what's the one other thing other than computers that i hate? period. hurr.
school has been alright i guess. keeps me occupied so i won't drift away into nonsensical thoughts. wondering why this & why that. i'm at phyllis's place now, in her room, dark & chilly. haha emoing my life away. no lights switched on. janice wei lian's song never let you go repeating on my itunes. haha. oh boy, this is not good :(
haha oh well, i shall go continue reading my book. have two more books to complete then off to the library once again! books, i can't believe the change in me. HAHA i'm starting to feel like a bookworm! hell no!
oh well, i'm still the same inside anyway.
oh yes, before i forget this very important message,
happy birthday melissa! :D
finally!
:)