everytime i spread my wings & try ta fly, i fall & there's no one at da bottom ta catch me. no one's there. maybe i was too naive. i alwis thought there were at least
a few ppl there ta catch me when i fall but i guess i was wrong.
maybe i was never someone important in your life. i was treated like a toy that your jus played around with. guess your never knew that. i never ever once said this before or complained about this fact to you guys. only now i realise that those who were once so treasured by me treats me this way. am i really nothing ? do your know how much ive gone through ? i thought this year would be great but it gonna end up the opposite. do you know that day when all da catholic girls were called up ? we were told ta write what had happened in our life & assume that you were going ta die that very night & write about your life & wish what you would like to change if you had da chance. do you guys have any idea that you were da ones i thought of, wrote of & even almost cried of ? perhaps your jus dont go notice it but i do. i may seem like i dont care sometimes, but deep down inside i do. its jus that everytime i try ta help cheer your up or show some concern, your would find me irritating & sometimes even shrug me off ? im alwis here jus that im jus too small ta be noticed by anyone at all. whenever i speak ta your, its like im speaking ta no one at all ? your never listen ta me anymore. even when i try my best ta update your about stuff your dont even seem interested. later on your jus say that i dont wanta tell your stuff. everytime i send out a message your dont reply ? i dont enjoy being treated this way. even now your dont even give a shit about how im feeling ? sometimes i really want ta shout out how i feel & everything but does it even work ? each time i want to tell your this, i definately know your reaction. "she's so damn sensitive !" then there will be another topic fer all your gossips. i may seem happy but im not. everyday in school im wearing a mask. im never myself. perhaps i dont even know what is supposed ta be myself cos im not myself anymore. i cant be. im being someone, or rather trying ta be, someone who everyone wants me ta be. but its obvious that ive failed. nothing i do is right. nothing was ever right. i alwis tried ta go with whatever others wanted & not what i wanted. but does it even help ? no. now i finally realise this. nothing i do is ever good enough fer you guys. even some of those ppl whom i thought knew of how i feel, i guess im wrong afta all. i never will be good enough fer you guys. i dontknow what you want me ta be. but im only human. im not perfect. its like no matter how hard i try ta get close ta your again, its like trying ta touch da sky when you know its a fact that you cant. i dont understand why is this alwis happened ta me. i guess those who were once so treasure by me are now gone :(
why am i saying all these anyway ? do they even give a damn ? i dont think so. i guess everything's in da past. no matter how hard i try, i can never succeed.
God ! please help me !
take me away, far away from this place.
waste-bin full of paper.
i love you, is that okay ?
READ THIS ! highly recomended ! ripped it off my darling sista's blog ! copyright ! heh :) darn sweet ! oh man !
THIS IS WHAT A GIRL TOLD A GUY.
if you see me walking the road with someone else, it's not because i like his company, it's because youre not brave enough to walk beside me.
if you hear me talking about him all the time, it's not because he pleases me, its because youre too deaf to hear my heartbeat.
if you feel me falling with someone new, its not because i love him, but because you're not there to catch me fall.
if you feel lost, i too am nowhere. i too dont know where the road is going. are we gonna cross each other's path or just completely turn around?
will we just let go of what we had or go to the place where love is bound? dont let me walk with him, it's you i want to walk with. dont let me talk of him, it's you i want to talk of. dont let me fall for him, it's you i want to fall in love with.
HOW DID THE GUY REPLY?
when you thought i wasnt brave enough to walk beside you, i was behind you every step of the way, still filled with awe because of the beauty that stand before me.
when you thought i was too deaf to hear your heartbeat i didnt want to assume anything and i was afraid to lose our friendship.
when you thought i wasnt there to catch you, it was because you never gave me the chance. you never reached the bottom, youve already grabbed a branch.
if you feel like you are nowhere, i too am lost. i too dont know where the road is going. are we just going to turn around or are we gonna cross each other's path? will we just let go of what we had or go to the place where love is bound?
dont let me walk alone, i want to walk by your side. dont let me talk of something else, it's you i want to talk of. dont let me fall for someone else, it's you i want to fall in love with.
IT'S YOU.
had a horrible day today. da today im talking about it sunday. heh. you dontknow how horrible it is man :/ went fer mass in da morning & was darn sway la ! they were having confirmation mass ? STOOD there fer like one and a half hour ?! :/ somemore that idiot wasnt serving ? but da other idiot was ? aiyahs ! whatever. on da car quarrelled with my brother then my dad got pissed so we came home without lunch ? walau was starving ! my sista was darn pissed la ? so went fer lunch with her at west plaza ? came home, studied & fell asleep on da sofa ? :| haha how's that ? woke up only at like 1800 ? then watched tv la ? haha bathed at eight then came online ? did da stupid home econs project till now ? jus completed it ? heh luckily ive got
my idiot & jing ta accompany me almost till da end ! thanks ! :))
anyhows ! saturday night went out with my sista ! heh met her at wisma at 1700 ! then shopped fer her formal suit which costed hundred and twenty nine bucks ! -faints ! that is like AFTA discount of fifty bucks ? walau. haha but she needs it so .. heh not so bad. afta shopping went cine ? wanted ta catch this movie but they didnt have seats so caught
raising helen instead ! super nice movie ! heh at least it made me cry :) haha super nice !
afta that went bishan ta meet my sista's friend ta pass him sth ? then came home ? was like quite late when we came home la ? :/ was super tired ! ahwells. only four hours left till i hafta get up fer school & im still here ? :/ poots. somehow feeling damn fuck now but like there's no one i can turn to. sigh. forget it. i shall jus go sleep !
these words are my own
from my heart flown
i love you, i love you, i love you, i love you
there's no other way
to better say
i love you, i love you.
idiot !
ehhs ! hahaha left a msg fer you in your guestbook ! heh :) thanks fer accompanying me through da night kay ? heh. so sweet of you ! :) haha sorry ah. i know il see a pandaaa tmw :D haha no la. well, thanks fer everything ! haha sorry i ranted at you :X sorry ! but anyhows, i love you la ! haha miss you too ! LOVE ! :) seeya in six hours time ! :))) bet you must be dreaming of me now ! hahaha. okies nites ! heh sleep tight (like your dog) ! :))